One year ago tonight I was sitting in a room of the second ER I had visited in the middle of a manic episode / mental breakdown. I don’t remember all the details of those couple of days, but there are some that stick out.
I remember talking to one of my best friends, Dave Fitzgerald. I remember a long walk on the beach. I remember taking a nap and waking up not knowing what day or time it was and not believing anyone when they told me. I remember hearing my Doctor’s voice but not what he said to me. I remember traveling to the first ER and rambling about all sorts of different topics. I remember the distinct feeling I was going to die. I remember riding in a police car, in cuffs, to the next hospital. And I remember waiting FOREVER in the second ER.
I remember a family that stood by me. I remember a dad who held me and listened while I felt certain I was going to die. That same dad who packed me up and drove me home from Ocean City to take me to the hospital. I remember seeing Doc Shaw as I laid on the bed at the ER. I remember clutching onto a Bible and the woman at the ER letting me take it onto the mental health floor.
Most of the next two weeks is pretty hazy. From what I’ve been told that’s for the best. I said and did some pretty awful things. Things I’m certain hurt the people I love the most.
Which brings me to my point of this post. I want to thank the people in my life who have helped me get to where I am today. Back to a state of normalcy.
Thank you, Danielle, for being my rock and not turning your back on me when you had every right to.
Thank you mom and dad for supporting me and never ceasing to pray for me especially when things looked bleak.
Thank you to everyone who came during my mania to visit me in the hospital.
Thank you to my boss, Dan Olasin, for being understanding when I said crazy things to you. Thank you for keeping my job open for me and for being so supportive.
Thank you to Rob and Cindy Fitzgerald for being there for me and loving me like one of your sons.
Thank you to Vicki Eilenberger for supporting during a dark time after my manic stage.
Thank you to my Dr., Tony Mussingo, for helping my family during the midst of a crazy period.
Thank you to my Psychiatrist and Therapist for your help in balancing my medications and treatment.
Thank you to anyone who has helped me, but I forgot to mention specifically by name.
Thank you all from the bottom of my heart.
And thank you to God. Thank you for protecting me. For loving me. For seeing me through a dark and scary time. Thank you for putting amazing people in my life at exactly the right place and time. Thank you for not letting this episode consume my life.
I’ll leave you with a verse that fits this situation perfectly. “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” – Jeremiah 29:11