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5 Things I Learned from My Week off Facebook
0I recently spent a week, yes, a WHOLE week completely off Facebook. And I learned a few things in that week’s time.
- I really missed my friends. I know it sounds like a stalker, but I enjoy keeping up with everyone (even if it’s just stalking the News Feed) and interacting with my friends.
- I didn’t miss Facebook as much as I thought I might. I know this sounds hypocritical, given that I’m back now, but it wasn’t bad. We actually spent more time together as a family. I read slightly more, and got back into Twitter, which, in some ways, I enjoy more than Facebook.
- My phone chirped a whole lot less this week. I actually caught myself once looking to the bottom right corner of my screen, having forgotten that I had deleted the Facebook app already.
- Twitter seems to be a better way to connect with “famous” people. As evidence I submit A and B.
- I put way to much stock in what other people think about me. Meaning that I allow it to control too much of my self worth. And that’s not cool. It’s something I’m working on.
Haters Gon’ Hate
2I think we’ve all run across the phrase “haters gon’ hate” at one point or another in life. I’ve spent quite a bit of time lately reflecting on the phrase as it applies to the church.
Let me start out with a video from Steven Furtick, pastor of Elevation Church.
Now, I get it, when there are people in the church that all they do is slander, complain, tear down, etc., something needs to be done to address them. Try to find out why they are so negative. They need to be admonished, following the principles outlined in Matthew 18:15-17:
15 “If your brother or sister[b] sins,[c] go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. 16 But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’[d] 17 If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.
However, I’m afraid that sometimes the church / church leaders perceive anyone with anything critical to say as a “hater”. This to me seems like a dangerous position to take. Here’s why.
Let’s agree on a bit of Biblical logic before I explain why this is a dangerous position.
1.) God can use anyone or anything to speak for Him. We see evidence of this in Numbers 22:26-31
Then the angel of the LORD moved on ahead and stood in a narrow place where there was no room to turn, either to the right or to the left. 27 When the donkey saw the angel of the LORD, it lay down under Balaam, and he was angry and beat it with his staff. 28 Then the LORD opened the donkey’s mouth, and it said to Balaam, “What have I done to you to make you beat me these three times?”
29 Balaam answered the donkey, “You have made a fool of me! If only I had a sword in my hand, I would kill you right now.”
30 The donkey said to Balaam, “Am I not your own donkey, which you have always ridden, to this day? Have I been in the habit of doing this to you?”
“No,” he said.
31 Then the LORD opened Balaam’s eyes, and he saw the angel of the LORD standing in the road with his sword drawn. So he bowed low and fell facedown.
Clearly, the Lord used the donkey to speak to Balaam. So, it only stands to reason that He could also use another person to speak for Him.
2.) God rebukes those He loves. We see this in Hebrews 12:5-6.
And have you completely forgotten this word of encouragement that addresses you as a father addresses his son? It says,
“My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline,
and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,
6 because the Lord disciplines the one he loves,
and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.”
Clearly, when God rebukes, He does it out of love, but He definitely does rebuke. He used the donkey to rebuke / spare Balaam from the certain danger awaiting him in the form of the angel.
3.) If God can use anyone to speak and God rebukes those who love Him, then it is entirely possible that God can and (more likely than not) WILL use others to speak things into our lives we don’t necessarily want to hear.
Proverbs 27:17 says “as iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” It’s clear from the these words, written by Solomon and inspired by God that God uses others to sharpen us. Iron striking iron is a painful metaphor. It’s not like memory foam being gently shaped. It’s a painful process, but it’s a godly process.
If we can agree on all these points, we can see that godly criticism (not the kind simply used for tearing down) can be for our benefit, if we let it. Even Jesus criticized Peter when Peter wanted to set up tents for Him on the Mount of transfiguration. Jesus criticism was to the point of “Get behind me, Satan!” in Matthew 16:23. Harsh words indeed, but they were words Peter needed to hear. They were a part of the process of transforming Peter into the man who would leads thousands to Christ after the Resurrection.
My concern for the church “in general” is that we don’t seem to do too well at receiving constructive criticism. Many times we are quick to label people as “haters” if they don’t share our point of view. By labeling people, we immediately squelch what could be a positive discussion.
We need to do a better job of coming to grips with our imperfections, and taking care of the “plank” in our own eye, as it were. None of us are perfect. We all have a lot we can learn from each other, if we will be open to hear God’s voice speaking to us through imperfect vessels.
Who Saves Your Life From the Pit
2…who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion… (Psalm 103:4)
I’ve been thinking about this verse lately, and it, and the feedback I received from my last post, sparked me to share another personal story I hope will be helpful.
There are a handful of times in my life where I’ve felt like I’ve been at my lowest – Joel Stephen’s funeral, the loss of our first baby due to miscarriage, finding out my dad had Leukemia. I found out this year that those weren’t my lowest points.
Let me share some background information. For as long as I can remember I have had an “anxious” personality, for lack of a better term. I was the kid who said, “guys, I don’t think we should do this – we’re going to get in trouble” to Dan and Dave Fitzgerald, oh, a million times or so growing up. I was the kid who got nervous that the class was going to get in trouble in 4th grade. I was that college student who dry heaved before every speech in his Comm 101 class.
This year I learned that I’ve been the guy who’s been anxious about what other people think about him for a long, long time. Only this time my anxiousness manifested itself at and through my work – to an extreme extent.
It seemed to start early in the year, January or February. And it got worse and worse and worse. Getting up in the morning was a chore. I woke up in panic sweats. I tried to stay up as late as possible, because I knew going to sleep meant that I had to get up in the morning and start the process all over again. At times I lost my appetite pretty much all together. I second-guessed every single decision I made at work, for fear that I would screw up and “get in trouble” (whatever that even meant)
It finally got to the point where one morning I pretty much refused to go to work. I called in sick and that was that. Danielle begged me to go. My mom begged me, then came over, prayed with me, and I still wouldn’t go. Finally dad called. I could tell he was worried. He told me I HAD to go. He even offered to drive me himself. I finally made it in, but things didn’t seem to get any better.
Fast forward a bit. My parents were awesome enough to plan a night of prayer with some close family and friends. I would like to list them here and give them the respect and honor they deserve for pouring into my life that night. In no particular order: rob and Cindy Fitzgerald, Mike and Mindy Yoder, Jay and Ashley Smith, Lon Williams, Bruce and Marilyn Clark and, of course, my parents.
What they did that night means more than they will ever know. They spoke life and encouragement into me. They prayed for me. They listened to my heart. My dad spoke such amazing things into my life. He even told me I was his hero!
And yet, the next day, the problem was back. It persisted until sometime in July or early August. I remember sitting at Liberty Bible church listening to Lon’s teaching in the “Faith: It’s the new safe” series, and I literally felt a weight lift off me. That may sound melodramatic, but that’s what I experienced.
Looking back now, the depression I felt didn’t make any logical sense. It was a great point in my life. Work was going well. We had a new amazing baby boy, were in a great church, etc. There was nothing to be depressed about, but I still was.
If you’re going through a similar experience, there is hope. Hope that can only be found in the love of Jesus. There is hope when you are at the lowest of lows. He is the only won that can provide real hope and real answers.
Hang in there. Talk to a friend. Get prayer. Hang on to God. Even if that is all you can do, just hang on.
Remember, he is the one who can rescue your life from the pit.
Penn State Anger
0As the news of sex scandal at Penn State continues to come out I’ve found myself incredibly angry and emotional, a little more than I thought necessarily appropriate. I’m incredibly angry at what happened to these innocent children. I’m upset that the career of one of colleges most-respected coaches has to end this way. I’m upset that something this heinous was allowed to happen.
I’m not sure what I think should happen to Joe Paterno. Doesn’t really matter at this point, since he’s already announced his retirement. Should he have called the police or made sure more was done to follow up on the allegations? Probably. But, what if he had and nothing had been done then, then what? Should he have forced the police to do their job? At what point would people have declared that he had done “enough”? Would it even have been possible? It’s hard to say. I just know that it’s incredibly sad that his legacy will be tainted in this way, after all the great stuff he has done for so many young men, for the university, for college football in general. It’s so very sad.
That is in no way meant to diminish what happened to these young men. That is far more tragic than any “injustice” done to Joe Paterno.
Before I continue, I should note that this post will cover some graphic topics. You’ve been warned.
It wasn’t until today that it hit me as to one of the reasons why I’ve been so angry and emotional.
I had an experience similar to the victims in this story when I was around their age. I was never raped or made to perform a sex act on someone, but I was violated by someone I considered a close friend. There was kissing and inappropriate touching, and I’ve never forgotten about this unfortunate incident.
I think over the years I’ve tried to forget that this ever happened. You know, out of sight, out of mind as they say. I’ve never wanted to embrace the victim mentality, to make any sort of excuses for my behavior based on what happened to me, etc. etc.
In fact, I’ve only ever told 3 people in my entire life about this experience. But I felt like now was the time to share, in hopes that something like this can be prevented in the future.
While I cannot fathom the pain, etc. that these boys (now young men) have and will continue to go through, I can relate, perhaps better than some.
As I was growing up this incident really affected me, even when I didn’t realize it. Sometimes you wonder if you are somehow complicit in the act. “Why didn’t I fight it off more, if I knew something was wrong?”. “Why did I let this happen?” The questions go on and on. There were times when I wondered if I was perhaps gay, since the incident happened with another male. I’ve had to live with the fact that my first kiss experience happened in such a tragic way.
Probably worse than the effect this has had on me is knowing that similar things happened to other people at the hands of this person, and if I had brought more attention to what happened to me, they may have been prevented. It’s incredibly painful to think about that. I know that you can’t live your life in regret, but to know that it might have made a difference is a hard pill to swallow.
My hope in telling my story is that it helps prevent a tragedy like this from happening to someone else. Many times we’re told to watch for signs of kids being abused, but what if there are no signs? I don’t even know what all the signs are myself, but I’m fairly certain I haven’t exhibited such signs.
My advice is to be there for your kid or for kids that come and talk to you. Really listen to them and try to read between the lines when possible.
Also, if you’ve experienced abuse, please tell someone you trust that will help you. I know that it’s incredibly painful and awkward, but if it can prevent that kind of pain for someone else, it is completely worth it.
Goo Goo Dolls Come to Mansfield
0The Goo Goo Dolls played at Decker Gym on Sunday, October 24. We were fortunate enough to get tickets and went to the show with our friends Dan, Andrea and Roxanne.
The show was AMAZING! We caught the tail end of the opening act and got decent seats for GGD.
The guys seemed down to earth (as much as you can tell watching someone perform) and even joked about how long they’d been around saying, “most of you were 3 years old when this song came out.”
The following are some videos I was able to capture and get out on YouTube.
The Appearance of Evil?
3How many times have you heard “abstain from all appearance of evil…” in reference to some situation in your life or in the lives of others? This comes from 1 Thessalonians 5:22.
The more I’ve read about this verse recently, the more I’m convinced that we aren’t applying it properly to our lives. Here’s why.
As Christians, we are supposed to be like Christ. Yes, we fail, actually we fail most of the time, if you’re honest with yourself. That doesn’t mean we don’t try, obviously.
Here’s the thing. I’ve tried to make this point before, and I don’t believe it came off correctly. I hope it does this time. Jesus did many things during His time on Earth that were considered “evil” by the religious establishment of His day. Just a few examples:
- He spent time with prostitutes
- He associated and spoke directly with women (which was against the culture of the time)
- He “worked” on the Sabbath by healing people
- He was accused of being demon possessed
- He was accused of being a drunkard (Luke 7:34)
And the list could go on and on.
Let me be clear – Jesus did nothing evil. But it was considered evil by many at the time.
Let’s go back to 1 Thessalonians 5:22. Now, we know that the Word was God and the Word is God, and Jesus was referred to as the Word become flesh. If that’s the case, He can’t contradict Himself.
If that’s true, why do we see Jesus clearly not following the warning of 1 Thessalonians 5:22? I believe it’s because it doesn’t mean what we’ve taken it to mean.
I believe it means actually avoiding things that are evil, or sin. Jesus never sinned. We know that. But he clearly did not “abstain from all appearance of evil.”
Does this mean we go out looking to do things that appear evil? Of course not. But we should be very wary when people warn us not to do things because they appear to be evil.
For example, playing cards has been considered evil, going to the movies has been considered evil, etc. etc.
Let’s not get so wrapped up in avoiding the appearance of evil that we miss out on what God has for us.
What We Can Learn From Glee
1I will start this post off with a caveat, I do not agree with everything on the show Glee. In fact there is quite a lot I don’t agree with. If you need to, please re-read this sentence a couple of times, so that the point sticks in.
Now to the good stuff.
Last night’s episode touched on some huge issues that the church needs to know are out there. In a nutshell, one of the main character’s dad had a heart attack and was in a coma, and it wasn’t looking good at all. This young man happens to be a homosexual and an Atheist. His friends tried to reach out to him and let them know they were praying for him.
His response went something like this – I love you guys, but I don’t need or want your prayers. WOW. Let that sink in. He didn’t believe prayer could do anything or that God could do anything to heal his dad.
I can speak from personal experience that prayer / God changes things and heals people. I’ve seen it happen at least twice to people very near and dear to me.
Flash forward further in the episode. The school gym teacher comes against the leader of the glee club due to her stance on the separation of church and state.
Here’s a homework assignment. Find separation of church and state in the Constitution. Go ahead, I’ll wait……………..
Oh that’s right. It’s not there. The Constitution says, “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof…”
That’s it. The whole notion of separation of church and state came from a letter written by Thomas Jefferson to some concerned citizens. This letter has been twisted and mangled into such a crazy mess that now we can’t sing songs that mention Christ at Christmas (although you can’t spell the word without His name) because that would be an “establishment of religion.” Give me a break.
When asked why she’s such a curmudgeon, she states that when she was a little girl she prayed and prayed for her mentally handicapped older sister to be healed. When she wasn’t, she prayed harder and harder and harder.
She finally came to the conclusion that “no one was listening.”
How sad. I believe God always answers prayer. Often times it’s not the answer we want to hear, but that doesn’t mean He doesn’t answer. But how are we, the church, reaching out to people feeling this way? How are we showing God’s love to them? Are we getting our hands dirty and putting ourselves in situations where we find ourselves out of our comfort zone in order to be His hands and feet?
Throughout the episode, this young man’s friends keep loving on him and praying for him until he finally is able to at least accept their prayers and listen to them.
That’s the point. We need to love people regardless of race, creed or religion. Regardless of their looks. Regardless of their speech. Regardless…
We need to love. We need to show God’s love to a world that has serious issues that only God can solve.
All You Need is Love
0“By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” John 13:35
“All you need is love…” – The Beatles
I feel like some things I’ve posted recently between my blog and Facebook have been misconstrued as an attack on people who adopt.
Please know this – that could not be further from the truth.
Did I use a wrong choice of words on a couple occasions? Perhaps.
I was simply trying to show another side of an emotional issue – the plight of the unborn and the plight of the uncared for.
It is my feeling that, in my recent experience, more light has been drawn to the plight of the uncared for than the unborn.
I wish to shine light and speak up for the unborn, but I do not condemn those who care for the uncared for.
Please know that my heart is that we all can work together on these extremely important issues.
The Church and Abortion
0I’ve recently had many heated discussion on abortion and adoption in the church.
Through those debates people have said that the church is doing its part by voting on abortion, etc.
That is not the case. Let me gives some numbers to back that up.
In the 2008 election season, According to InfoPlease, there were 231,229,580 registered voters in the US. Only 132,618,580 actually voted.
This means only 57% of registered voters voted. That is pathetic.
If we use the number that 76% of people in the US call themselves Christian, then, after crunching the numbers, of the 98,611,000 people who did not vote in the last election, 74,944,360 would identify themselves as Christian.
Let’s be super conservative and say that only 15% of those people were actually born again believers. That leaves us with 11,241,654 Christians that did not vote.
Why is this number a big deal? Good question.
According to this page, the difference in votes between Obama and McCain was 9,522,083.
Do the math. Christians could have prevented the election of Barack Obama, and they did not.
Why is this a big deal? I could get into a whole list of reasons, but check this information out.
To quote:
But Obama’s record on abortion is extreme. He opposed the ban on partial-birth abortion — a practice a fellow Democrat, the late Daniel Patrick Moynihan, once called “too close to infanticide.” Obama strongly criticized the Supreme Court decision upholding the partial-birth ban. In the Illinois state Senate, he opposed a bill similar to the Born-Alive Infants Protection Act, which prevents the killing of infants mistakenly left alive by abortion. And now Obama has oddly claimed that he would not want his daughters to be “punished with a baby” because of a crisis pregnancy — hardly a welcoming attitude toward new life.
Obama’s actions speak for themselves. He does not value the life of the unborn.
People tell me, “if we do our part for the orphans, then God will help us with abortion.”
I respectfully disagree with them.
Perhaps if we do our part, educate ourselves, and don’t pick a man to lead our country who has no care for the unborn, God would honor that decision, make it easier for people to adopt, and we would solve two problems at once.
Adoption Frustration
2Warning: this post may be offensive to some. You’ve been warned.
I’ve had a lot of back and forth over the last month or so, mostly on Facebook, on the subjects of abortion and adoptions – two very sensitive subjects with strong opinions and emotions on each side.
Many people say, “they’re not mutually exclusive.” While there is some truth to that statement, I, respectfully, believe those people are missing the point. I can only share from personal experience, and do not wish to create stereotypes, but that’s probably what I’ll end up doing anyway.
Let’s clear up a few points that all Christians SHOULD be able to agree on.
- Life begins at conception (David speaks of God knowing him in the womb and being fearfully and wonderfully made)
- Terminating a life, no matter what stage that life may be in, is murder. This includes embryos, fetuses, etc. etc.
- If we follow the logical points of #’s 1 and 2, abortion is murder. Period.
If we can’t agree on those 3, feel free to stop reading now.
I find it disconcerting within the past couple years or so, this heavy push, especially in the church regarding adoption.
TO BE CLEAR: I have no problems with adoption and I think it is an admirable, noble thing – FOR THOSE WHO ARE CALLED.
Here is where I believe the church in general misses the point. Not all are called to adoption. Sorry. Scripture doesn’t back up anything less than this. Yes, God has a heart for the fatherless. Yes, He brought us into His family. Yes, He wants us to reach out and care for others, but we are not all called to adopt.
I would also argue that not all are called to support adoption. I often times see people say something to the following effect, “We need to raise X amount of dollars for so and so’s adoption. Remember, you need to live out James 1:27 and practice real religion.”
I’m paraphrasing, but you get the gist.
I’m fairly certain Jesus wouldn’t want us to twist people’s arms with Scripture in order to get them to support adoption, whether adopting themselves or supporting someone who does.
For reference, let’s take a look at the Amplified Bible’s translation of James 1:27
External [e]religious worship [[f]religion as it is expressed in outward acts] that is pure and unblemished in the sight of God the Father is this: to visit and help and care for the orphans and widows in their affliction and need, and to keep oneself unspotted and uncontaminated from the world.
Ahh…external religious worship. I think that is a great point of clarification. It’s a way to reach out to others, but, I feel, sometimes the church gives the impression that if you don’t give or adopt your somehow not exercising your faith properly.
And there’s the whole last part of the verse – “and to keep oneself unspotted and uncontaminated from the world.” How many times have you heard that part of James 1:27 brought? My guess would be not much.
I know this sounds critical of those who adopt. That is not my purpose. My purpose in writing is to shed light on the matter as I see it and remind us all that we need to do everything in moderation.
Abortion is an issue I feel strongly about. And here’s where it’s different than adoption. It’s something as Christians we are all called to oppose. Where’s my Scriptural evidence to support that claim? Go back and read the 10 Commandments where it mentions not murdering. End of story.
Many people say, “we can’t handle the increase in babies that would come from outlawing abortion.” I say that’s a pretty weak excuse. Often times these people champion the cause of adoption. Guess what? If there are less abortions, there will, logically, be more chances to adopt.
I feel like abortion gets approached in the following way. Many people seem to think that it will always be an issue, so why bother?
Which explains how we get a man in the office of President who seems to care very little for the unborn.
We need to vote. We need to get the word out. We need to not shut up until something changes.
And while we’re doing that, continue to adopt, continue to foster, continue to support, but don’t guilt others into doing that.
Another big pet peeve is when people complain about how hard it is after they’ve adopted X number of children. Well guess what? You chose to do that. There are thousands of couples who would love to have 1 child of their own, just 1. I can speak from experience saying that it angers those people greatly when others are not thankful for the little bundles of joy they get the honor of parenting.
I guess I’ve gone on long enough. What are your thoughts?