Bipolar

I have bipolar disorder. 4 words I didn’t imagine writing recently. Not that I haven’t written about it before.

But, you see, I thought I had bipolar “beat” (whatever that means). 5+ years of no significant mood swings led to working with my doctor to totally eliminate the Depakote I was taking.

Going off the Depakote felt good, but eventually it felt a little too good. The warning signs were there, looking back now.

We had gotten to the point where we even wondered if I actually was bipolar. Perhaps what happened with my manic episode was some weird combination of circumstance or a fluke.

But, it wasn’t. I know that now. Apparently the medicine was helping keep things in check.

Some recent stress combined with a lack of sleep led to a crash this past Saturday that wasn’t nearly as bad before but was still scary enough. Enough to lead us to a psychiatrist appointment this past Tuesday. He was concerned enough to put me right back on the higher dose of Depakote I had been on before. He feels confident this will put a “brick wall” in front of the train of a bipolar episode.

Thankfully we caught this before it became a disaster like before. I am eternally grateful for Danielle. She’s been so good to me and has helped out so much this week.

Thanks to so many friends that have reached out to both of us. You’ve helped keep me both fed and sane this week, and I am thankful for both.

And thanks to God, who gives us supportive wives, family and friends. Who keeps us from totally crashing and burning. Who gives us doctors and medications to help us. Who delivers us.

We will make it through. We’ve done it before, and we will do it again, and we will live to tell the tale as they say!

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