Who Saves Your Life From the Pit 2

…who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion… (Psalm 103:4)

I’ve been thinking about this verse lately, and it, and the feedback I received from my last post, sparked me to share another personal story I hope will be helpful.

There are a handful of times in my life where I’ve felt like I’ve been at my lowest – Joel Stephen’s funeral, the loss of our first baby due to miscarriage, finding out my dad had Leukemia. I found out this year that those weren’t my lowest points.

Let me share some background information. For as long as I can remember I have had an “anxious” personality, for lack of a better term. I was the kid who said, “guys, I don’t think we should do this – we’re going to get in trouble” to Dan and Dave Fitzgerald, oh, a million times or so growing up. I was the kid who got nervous that the class was going to get in trouble in 4th grade. I was that college student who dry heaved before every speech in his Comm 101 class.

This year I learned that I’ve been the guy who’s been anxious about what other people think about him for a long, long time. Only this time my anxiousness manifested itself at and through my work – to an extreme extent.

It seemed to start early in the year, January or February. And it got worse and worse and worse. Getting up in the morning was a chore. I woke up in panic sweats. I tried to stay up as late as possible, because I knew going to sleep meant that I had to get up in the morning and start the process all over again. At times I lost my appetite pretty much all together. I second-guessed every single decision I made at work, for fear that I would screw up and “get in trouble” (whatever that even meant)

It finally got to the point where one morning I pretty much refused to go to work. I called in sick and that was that. Danielle begged me to go. My mom begged me, then came over, prayed with me, and I still wouldn’t go. Finally dad called. I could tell he was worried. He told me I HAD to go. He even offered to drive me himself. I finally made it in, but things didn’t seem to get any better.

Fast forward a bit. My parents were awesome enough to plan a night of prayer with some close family and friends. I would like to list them here and give them the respect and honor they deserve for pouring into my life that night. In no particular order: rob and Cindy Fitzgerald, Mike and Mindy Yoder, Jay and Ashley Smith, Lon Williams, Bruce and Marilyn Clark and, of course, my parents.

What they did that night means more than they will ever know. They spoke life and encouragement into me. They prayed for me. They listened to my heart. My dad spoke such amazing things into my life. He even told me I was his hero!

And yet, the next day, the problem was back. It persisted until sometime in July or early August. I remember sitting at Liberty Bible church listening to Lon’s teaching in the “Faith: It’s the new safe” series, and I literally felt a weight lift off me. That may sound melodramatic, but that’s what I experienced.

Looking back now, the depression I felt didn’t make any logical sense. It was a great point in my life. Work was going well. We had a new amazing baby boy, were in a great church, etc. There was nothing to be depressed about, but I still was.

If you’re going through a similar experience, there is hope. Hope that can only be found in the love of Jesus. There is hope when you are at the lowest of lows. He is the only won that can provide real hope and real answers.

Hang in there. Talk to a friend. Get prayer. Hang on to God. Even if that is all you can do, just hang on.

Remember, he is the one who can rescue your life from the pit.

2 thoughts on “Who Saves Your Life From the Pit

  1. Reply LJ Hoose Dec 2,2011 9:34 pm

    Enjoyed this blog post, Jared. I once knew a gal who had a melancholy personality, bordering on bi-polar. Her moms advice to her was similar to yours with one addition. Mom said, “If you ever feel like you want to hurt yourself, mark that day on the calendar, then pray for 30 days before you do anything.” It was good advice. Everyone suffers from moody blues and anxiety at some point. There, in the midst of a low point, is not the time to make a life-changing decision. Wait, pray, love, focus on serving others. In time, God will change your circumstances, just as He will change YOU! As you have suggested here, from first hand experience (Hang in there): Give it time, but wait expectantly. Hugs, L

  2. Reply Lisa Howeler Dec 6,2011 7:51 pm

    Great post. So nice to know I’m not alone.

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