Dear Joy,
Your daddy misses you. A lot. And you wouldn’t have even been born yet. I wanted to write to you mostly to make myself feel better.
I don’t know what it’s like in Heaven or how it works. I hope you have gotten a chance to meet your older brother – Enoch. I really hope so. I’m sure if you have you guys are best friends.
I hope you get to meet Joel Stephens and that he takes good care of you guys until we get there. And that you all get to play baseball together as often as you want.
I hope you get to meet Great Grandma Barden. She would have loved you so much. She was quite the character, not unlike your mom.
There are so many people I hope you get a chance to meet, but I don’t know how it works. I don’t know whether you’ll know them or not. And that doesn’t matter. Jesus is there, and I can’t even imagine what that must be like. The fun you must be having every day, but I’m pretty sure they don’t even have days there.
I miss you. A lot. Did I say that already? And I feel guilty that I didn’t want a little girl. How foolish and selfish of me.
Mostly I feel pretty angry lately, and I think it’s because losing you has hit me like a ton of bricks, and I don’t know how to deal with it sometimes. Sometimes I get mad at your mommy and Fitzy, but it’s not their fault. Sometimes I just get mad, and I don’t know how to deal with it, but that’s not your fault.
I don’t understand why we don’t get to have you here with us, and that’s ok. I’m glad that you’re in a much better place. Better than we will ever be able to imagine.
I just needed you to know that I miss you, dearly. And I needed to know it was ok to feel that way.
I love you.
Daddy
TEARS!
oh my goodness. <3 <3 i love you.
I’ll bet they are together with Joel and your Grandmother and would say to you, “It’s okay, Daddy, we’ll keep watch over you and Mommy. We’re right here next to Jesus and we’ll pray as He prays for you. We love you too very, very much. We like the story you are writing. It’s your life but we call it your story. You are a great Daddy and you chose a great Mommy. Jesus says not to worry about us because we are right here with him and He will take real good care of us just like He is doing with you and Mommy and Fitz. It’s okay to miss us. We miss you. One day there will be no more distance between us and no more pain and no more sadness and no more sickness. It will be just like our Heavenly Father intended it to be. We’ll all be whole and well and will celebrate together at His Feet in His Garden and in our mansions. Heaven is pretty cool. We’ll teach you all the tricks we can do when we see you again….but you have to keep writing your story. There are so many Mommies and Daddies that need to know from you that you can make it through these sad and hurtful times. Some of them don’t know Jesus and this makes us sad because they have no one that gives them hope like you and Mommy have.
Your the best Daddy and the best Mommy ever, ever, ever.”
Selah…….